Conversations with the Fiancé

In this edition, the fiancé and I are driving down Sunset Blvd, when we happen to perchance upon a billboard for YMI Jeans, featuring none other than Alexis Dziena... Aka Lolita in the Bill Murray film Broken Flowers. (Yes, I kid you not - her name was *actually* Lolita in the movie.)

The following conversation takes place between 4:45 and 4:46pm, while we wait for the light to turn green.

J: Hey, it's that chick from Broken Flowers.
Me: Ohhh yeah, huh.
J: The naked chick.
Me: Yup.
J: ...She had some great boobs.
Me: Yeah... I think mine are better.
(pause)
(pause while the pause gets knocked up)
(super pregnant pause)
(pause gives birth to baby pause)
(baby pause turns out to be octuplet pauses)
J: Uhm, sure. (optimistically) Ok!


...
I'm sorry... what?
Even if he didn't agree with me, isn't it written somewhere in the preface of the Fiancé Code that if your Bride-to-Be dives into a bucket of crazy sauce and comes back making comments about her fabulous figure, that you're supposed to agree EMPHATICALLY??

Not only that, but when it comes to physical appearance I'm almost never the one to toot my own horn. Growing up in LA - the wellspring of all that is Gorgeous and Thin - I'm actually quite critical when it comes to evaluating my own aesthetics. So for me to make that statement was actually quite bold. And beautiful. Like my favorite soap.

Besides all that, I actually do have fantastic boobies!*
*thanks to a fantastic investment I made 5 years ago

So there. Take that, naked chick from Broken Flowers. You may be a young, rich, famous, hot, long-legged model/actress, but I have boobies. And a fiancé who thinks you're hotter than me agrees that my boobs are better than your boobs. (We'll work on his enthusiasm for them.)

Signed,
Brave Little Toaster
WHO HAS AMAZING BOOBIES