Boys Will Be Boys

Alright boys, it's time to make a decision. And it's a toughie.

Do you want me...
Or the Xbox...


I know, I know. It's like asking Britney Spears to make the ultimate choice between frappuccinos and sugar-free Red Bulls. Impossible. Unthinkable. Inhumane.

Luckily, underneath my icy blue-eyed and pale skinned exterior, I do have a heart.
And so I shall happily help you with what may ultimately be the hardest decision of your young 20-something life.

VOILA! A handy dandy comparison list of Pros, with the presupposition that you will indeed choose the Xbox over having a girlfriend.


Reasons to pick the Xbox!

1. Bill Gates likes Xbox, and is a very successful man (or so I'm told).
2. It's cheaper and more convenient than finding something new and competitive to do every day (e.g. paintballing, pillowfighting, ATVing, mattress surfing. ...Ok mattress surfing may be cheaper but having to haul it out to yer pickup truck or Chevy Blazer ain't convenient).
3. You can do it in your underwear, with a beer in one hand and the controller in the other.
   
4. It can't leave you, talk back to you, or ask you to take out the garbage.
5. Vladamir Putin fully endorses Call of Duty 4.
   

Reasons to pick having a girlfriend!

1. Girlfriends will heal your paintball wounds, help pick the feathers out of your shoes when you go pillowfighting, and will drive you to the ER after mattress surfing.
2. Your Xbox will cheat on you with anyone who shows interest. Your girlfriend won't.
3. Good girlfriends will cook for you, while your Xbox will let you starve or subsist on cold pizza.
4. Xbox game points are not redeemable for sexual favors. Points with girlfriend are.
5. Would you rather have to fight aliens or fight off chicks? Yup, that's what I thought.

In conclusion, I suggest you pick me. Because I'm awesome. And flexible.